We have all heard the stories about how annoying noisy neighbors can be. We probably even lived next to a couple, but what happens when you are the noisy neighbor.

I moved into a new apartment about ten months ago. I have two kids aged 4 and 2. About a month after we moved in we began getting complaints from our neighbor below us (we live on the upper floor). The complaints were about my children running and jumping in the house, and about a nightly thumping sound (my oldest would roll out of his bed almost every night, even with the bars). And while the complaints were never politely given, more of an annoyed tone with judging facial expressions, I apologized, explained about my oldest falling out of bed (this didn't help, I just received a "well make it stop") and tried to get my kids to quit it.

I came up with a schedule that had us out of the house by 9 am back at 12pm. Out again at 3pm and home again at 4-430 pm (this was back when my kids were 3 and 1). Unfortunately, this made no difference because my neighbors were out of the house during this time and my children still ran from their room, down the hall, to the living room every time they came out. I tried taking their hand, walking them back down the hall, and out the room again which worked occasionally. I also tried timeouts and, as a very last resort, a spank on the bottom. All of these worked about 40-50% of the time. But it still wasn't enough, I continued to receive complaints, and they began to get more aggressive (yelling and scowling, not violence)

However, about 6-7 months ago, the complaints stopped and my kids began to get it. This was after several more complaints, a talk with the manager, and threat to call the police. I was so relieved. I mean my neighbor and I still weren't on great terms, rude glances and no hellos in passing, but the complaints stopped.

That is, until about a week ago. Now that my kids are 4 1/2 and 2 1/4, they are more actively playing with each other; and this play sometimes involves running and jumping. Also, for the past three weeks my kids have decided that they no longer like their 8pm bedtime and are boycotting it by running out of their room into the living room everytime I leave (this is especially true of my youngest). So now I am back to walking them down the hall, timeouts, and sometimes spankings.

Now, usually I would sit down with them at night until they were situated but on top of being a mom I am a college student and the evening is when I study, do my homework, clean, and relax.

So, a week ago I had just finished my final paper, took the kid's a bath and put them to bed. I then wiped down the kitchen and did a load of dishes (During all of this I did not here any loud noises coming from my kids room). After that I went and checked in on the kids(It was about 1045). My youngest was out of bed and spinning around in circles, my oldest was in bed and said they wanted hot chocolate. So I put my youngest back in bed and put the kettle on and sat down at the computer. About five minutes later someone bangs on the door. Somewhat startled, I ask who it is and recognize my neighbor's voice demanding that I open the door right now. I open it and immediately they begin screaming at me about the noise, I try to apologize but they tell me they don't want to hear it anymore and continue to cause such a scene that my next door neighbors come out to see what the commotion is. After having, very loudly and aggressively, vented out their anger my neighbor leaves.

There is something you have to know about me; I hate being yelled at, I hate being embarrassed, and I hate being part of a scene. All three of these things make me very emotional and I always end up crying; and I hate crying.

So, after having all three of these things done to me at once, I wanted nothing more than to cry. And I did after my kids were asleep I broke down and cried. I cried because I was yelled at, because I was embarrassed, because I felt I wasn't a good mother; I cried because the stress from school finally hit me, because I felt everything I did was wrong, because I felt useless, worthless, and hopeless; I cried because I didn't know what else to do and because of a million other reasons.

Then, the crying turned to anger because I hadn't heard anything and because for all the times that this neighbor has complained none of my surrounding neighbors have. And believe me they have every reason to. My youngest throws tantrums for everything and has a scream so loud that you can hear it three apartments down. But not one of them has ever complained, in fact it's the opposite. Everytime they see us they give us a smile and say how good my kids are and how much they like them. I think what angers me most is how rude and judgemental they are about it. Never a please, never a could you try, never even asking. It was always a demand with a rude, harsh tone, and a look that said "You are a horrible mom,you need to learn to control your kids." As if I didn't care that they were running amuck. Argh! Oh well.

And now that the anger has subsided I am writing, because that's what I do. I totally understand why my neighbor is upset and I understand how frustrating it must be to have to continually come up hear to complain. I also get that it must be extremely irritating to try and and fall asleep, knowing that you have to get up early, only to hear the clomping around of children's feet above you. But I do not know what else to do or say. Apologizing obviously hasn't worked. I am at a loss and really need some advice, from either side, the noisy neighbors or those putting up with them. Please, anybody, help.